Lost in Darkness
by watchfuldreamer
Summary: Of course Marius noticed her immediately. Because it wasn't Eponine he was noticing. It was a way to his beloved Cosette.


**AN: Once again, floored by the positive reviews for my second one-shot. Thank you all so much!  
This time we've got a request, since I have to do some hardcore research to get into the right mindset for my next two one-shots (I'll tell you now—Enjolras POV! That'll probably be the hardest POV I'll ever do).**

**I've been updating quickly because I won't be able to write any more one-shots anywhere from a few days to a week, so I thought I'd give you three this weekend to make up for it. But don't expect any for a few days. Sorry! Busy person is busy.**

**In case you want to read all of my one-shots, my first one was Fight to the End (Gavroche's death, Courfeyrac POV) and my second was Be Brave, Little Brother (Eponine's death, Gavroche POV).**

**No flashbacks in this one, because no one's dying (well, physically. Sorry, Eponine, for being emotionally destroyed). Right now we've got Marius and Cosette meeting for the first time, from Eponine's POV.**

**As always, let me know what you think, and make suggestions and requests! I got three on my last one-shot, and I'm using all three of them. Just to let you know.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Les Mis. Sadly.**

Eponine entered the café cautiously, glancing around and half expecting someone to throw her back out into the night. She had not been to the café before, and knew not what to expect. Would he notice her? Would she have to fight for his attention, as she so often did? She let out a frustrated puff of air. Why did she even do these things for him? "Find her for me, 'Ponine," she repeated bitterly, under her breath. "I'm lost until she's found."

Cosette. Of all people, it had to be Cosette that he fell for.

Was this her punishment for her treatment of the girl earlier in life? Now that their roles were opposite what they had been? And she was helping to create her punishment. It would be so easy to tell him that she hadn't been able to find the address, that she hadn't been able to pick up a trace of his mystery girl.

No, she reminded herself. That is the one thing that he has confidence in you about and you will _not_ prove him wrong. You will _not_ lose this tiny sliver of confidence that he has in you.

Before she could change her mind, she silently ascended the staircase, and when she turned the corner she saw him. She couldn't help it—her eyes were drawn to him immediately. He was with the blonde one, the leader—Enjolras—speaking to him sternly, face as cold as Eponine ever saw it. Marius glanced down the staircase, clearly not listening to a single word Enjolras was saying. His eyes landed on Eponine and a smile spread across his face, lighting up his features. Without a backward glance he rushed down to meet her.

"Did you find her?" he asked excitedly, without so much as a greeting.

Of course he had noticed her immediately. Because it wasn't Eponine he was noticing. It was a way to his beloved Cosette. Briefly, Eponine's eyes returned to Enjolras, surprised to find him watching her. Though the only emotions she had seen from him were fueled by fervor for his cause, she got the unsettling feeling that he understood what she was doing, and—even more unsettling—why she was doing it.

She tore her gaze away from him and turned back to Marius, simply nodding before beginning her descent. She could practically feel the joy radiating off of him in waves. A cold feeling settled over her. Joy that had nothing to do with her. That would never have anything to do with her.

Neither of them spoke until the house was in sight. "Eponine, in my life she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun!" Marius suddenly said, moving so that he was ahead of Eponine, letting her see once more the bright smile upon his face. Without warning, he turned and grabbed Eponine's hands, twirling her around. Eponine laughed, unable to help herself, a small amount of happiness entering her even as she knew it would not last. As she had predicted, all too soon he stopped and the light was extinguished. He let go of her hands, mind clearly elsewhere. "And my life seems to stop as if something is over and something has scarcely begun!"

Eponine stopped, unwilling to go any farther with him, and Marius turned back to face her, so absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't even question her sudden halt. "Eponine," he said gently, "you're the friend who has brought me here!"

She knew, and it hurt more than she could say. So she didn't.

"Thanks to you, I soar through a world that is new, that is free!" Without another glance in Eponine's direction, he made his way to the gate, curling his fingers around the bars impatiently, waiting for his beloved Cosette to come outside and find him waiting.

"Every word that he says is a dagger in me!" Eponine whispered, pressing her back against the wall that surrounded the house, welcoming the chill of the rock against the thin fabric of her blouse. "In my life, there has been no one like him anywhere…anywhere, where he is. If he asked, I'd be his." A tear crept down her cheek, because she knew that he wouldn't ask. Not now, not ever. He would never see her waiting there.

A soft, ladylike, perfect little voice reached Eponine, words of love and of joy that Eponine had never and would never know of. Cosette had arrived. And based on her words, Eponine was sure that Marius would never be destined to be like her, in love with someone who barely knew she existed.

"He was never mine to lose," she gasped, sliding down the wall until she sat upon the cold ground. She wrapped her arms around her legs and pressed her forehead to her knees. "Why regret what could not be?" she berated herself furiously. If she knew that he would never love her, why did she have to continue hoping?

"This is a chain we'll never break," Cosette said fervently, eliciting an immediate agreement from Marius.

"These are words he'll never say," Eponine reminded herself, struggling to fight the pain. "Not to me. Not for me." She twisted her torso around, craning her neck to look at the pair, pure and unblemished, so unlike Eponine. "His heart full of love," she whispered. What Marius felt, he always felt so completely, so fully. He never wavered—it never occurred to him that such a thing was an option. "But he will never feel this way." Not about her. He had finally found someone—it just hadn't been her.

"Cosette? What are you doing?" Marius quickly ducked behind the bushes as Cosette's 'father' called her inside, concerned and slightly suspicious. Marius had a vaguely dazed look on his face, as well as a smile so large and so bright it looked like it would never leave. Not even noticing Eponine sitting on the ground, he walked away, disappearing into the night, clearly lost in thought about his love.

Eponine, for her part, couldn't seem to force her legs to support her weight, tiny as she was. It was a chilly night, and she was shivering, but she made no move to find shelter. She hadn't lost Marius because he had never been hers to begin with. But this had destroyed any of her fantasies that perhaps one day he would notice her. He was so loyal…he would never look at anyone but his love again.

"Who is this hussy?" The voice, so hated and so familiar, jerked her out of her thoughts. She looked up with a gasp, panic flooding her, just before she was hauled roughly to her feet.

"It's your brat, Eponine, don't you know your own kid?"

"Get along, Eponine, we're enough here without you!" Thenardier snapped, grip tightening on her arm threateningly.

They meant to rob the house. Cosette's house. Eponine glanced at the house, torn. Was she really about to do this? Was she really willing to help the very girl who she had once scorned so completely, who now owned the heart of the man who owned hers? "I know this house, I tell you. There's nothing here for you!" she implored. "Just the old man and the girl!" The words 'the girl' came out, but left a sour taste in her mouth all the same. "They live ordinary lives."

She ignored the jibes that came at her then, about how she was clearly going soft, but she couldn't ignore her father's hand, which fisted in her hair and caused her to gasp in pain. "I'm gonna scream! I'm gonna warn them here!" she hissed, pushing the pain aside, glaring at her father. Why was she doing this? She didn't owe Cosette anything. Because she wanted to spite her father? No, that wasn't it. She knew better than that. She had spited him a few times. Each time held consequences more severe than the last. So why?

Marius wouldn't want anything to happen to her.

So Eponine would protect her.

"One little scream," her father said dangerously, his voice malicious and quiet, "and you'll regret it for a year."

Eponine swallowed hart, closed her eyes, and gathered all of her courage. She wrenched herself out of her father's grasp just long enough to let out an ear-piercing scream. Damage done, she met her father's murderous gaze.

"Make for the sewers!" one of the men ordered.

"I'll make you pay, you'll rue this night!" Thenardier barked, advancing on Eponine. "I'll make you scream—"

Eponine figured that since she had nothing left to lose, she might as well get in all the spite she could. She spit in her father's face. The next thing she felt was his hand cracking on her face. She nearly went down, but straightened, hand over her cheek.

"You'll scream all right," Thenardier finished, before following his men into the darkness, leaving Eponine alone once more.

Eponine slid down again to her place on the ground, adrenaline fading, cheek burning. "What have I done?" she asked herself, dread rising. From inside the house came two rising voices, clearly arguing. Eponine felt a surge of bitterness as Cosette's clear, high voice reached her. Eponine's voice was scratchy, low, rough. Cosette's, was sweet, high, and pure. Eponine was the personification of darkness, with her dark, tangled hair, dirty skin, and ragged brown clothes. Cosette, with her fair hair and light-colored clothes, was Eponine's exact opposite.

At least Eponine now knew why she was always on her own, why she was destined to pine after a man in love with someone else.

Eponine had always been lost in darkness, surrounded by it on all sides, even when she hadn't known it. She knew that she couldn't find her way out now. And it was always in darkness where one finds herself alone.


End file.
